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Are you curious?

Transcript - Season 2, Episode 3

Hello!I’m Caneel.

I’m a social scientist who helps people break out of the invisible traps and make whole-life changes easily and naturally. 

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Transcript Season 2, Episode 3: Are You Curious?

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Transcript: Please excuse any typos.  This was transcribed by an automated service.

Last week, I challenged you to make a commitment to yourself, to come back to this show for each and every episode. Season two is designed specifically for you as a growth process. There’s a really carefully-constructed arc here. And I don’t want you to miss anything. So please go and open up your podcast player, hit subscribe if you have not yet, make sure episodes are downloading, and come back for each and every episode.

So, I’m excited that you are back and that you’re keeping up that commitment to yourself. Some of this inner work is so, so important for you personally, right now, at this specific point in time. How would I know that? Well, get yourself curious about how that applies to you. And I think that will actually help you to learn some of the lessons that are in today’ episode where you’ll learn to apply curiosity in a way that you’ve never learned to apply it before.

Last week you’ve got a zoomed out view of the most vital commitments in conscious leadership where presence is the key, and also the reward, the place where you are fully alive. Presence plays an integral role in conscious leadership. And it plays a key role in your life and your leadership and your role as a CEO of your own life. These commitments that we reviewed last week are the most life-changing, leadership-growing, and presence-activating clear agreements that you can ever make with yourself.

Today, you’ll get some time to play in two of those commitments. And those commitments are radical responsibility and curiosity. Let me say that again, radical responsibility. I say it’s radical not just because I was a kid in the eighties and that’s a word I still use, but also because it is an overhaul of what responsibility means. And it is radical and awesome.

What is Responsibility?

Responsibility is almost exactly the same thing as power. Responsibility means that we control all that we can control. So in my curious quest to find out what I’m responsible for, what my 100% responsibility is, I find out where I have power that perhaps I have not previously been accessing. So ask yourself that question right now, where do you possibly have power that you have not previously been accessing? Where might you have even more radical responsibility than you thought was even possible?

Now, it’s helpful to contrast that type of a commitment to 100% responsibility with how we feel when we are below the line in a place of victimhood and threat, and perhaps a lot less curious about what is our responsibility. When we’re below the line, we’re much more apt to be in drama. And from drama, we look for who’s to blame. That would be the villain role. We look for how this is not my fault. That would be the victim role. We look for how we were helpless. Victim. And we look for how we can help save, solve everybody else’s problems. And that would be the hero.

Sometimes we even hero ourselves and we look for how I can not take responsibility for things that are possible for me to control. And instead, I try to numb out, ignore escape, avoid actually dealing with things in a creative way that is in service and that takes advantage of my responsibility and control. And instead, from hero, we look for how can I create temporary relief? So these three roles that here are the victim, the villain, we’ve reviewed this many times before, but it never hurts to go back to it again that that is the drama triangle. And that is by definition what we’re in when we’re in a chronic state of threat, which by the way is the human condition.

So what do we do about that? And why do we care? Well, when we’re in that below-the-line state, that’s when suffering.. And we do not have access to our full power, creativity, knowledge, learning, wisdom, love, spaciousness, joy, full of liveliness, presence, and flow. It’s not bad, though. It’s where a lot of our learning happens. We get lots and lots of goodies down there.

Why Do We Stay In Drama?

What? You get goodies when you’re below the line? Absolutely. Don’t fall prey to the fallacy that below the line is a bad or wrong place to be. I just want to give you a flavor of the different experiences, but below the line, we get lots and lots of rewards, which often helps it to become a much more sticky and even addictive place to be. And today, that’s one of the things I want you to start getting curious about, is what are the goodies that you’re getting when you’re below the line?

The rewards that we get for being in drama are, we can be seen as a hero, we can avoid suffering temporarily, we get a huge rush of a bunch of neuro-chemicals that are known to be addictive, including chemicals associated with stress and panic and dopamine addiction, right? All of that juicy, juicy life stuff that is part of the human experience.

And so I want us to start looking at, when I am taking actions that bring me below the line, and I was there this morning, shortly before I came in and started recording this, somehow I am creating these drama situations. So I start getting curious about how I am creating drama. And what are the rewards that I’m getting when I do? This is something I’m just so curious about.

I hope that you will join me in being curious about it, too. If you keep seeing the same patterns of drama in your life, what’s the payoff? And I know you must be saying, oh no, there’s no pay off. I hate it. It’s suffering. They’re wrong. Yeah, but there is. There is, or else you wouldn’t be creating it. How do I know what you’re committed to? I look at your results.

So from 100% responsibility, when you’re above the line, that means that you are accepting, holding yourself as responsible, meaning creative and powerful, for your actions, your choices, your behaviors, your mindsets, your impact, your intended impact, your unintended impact. Any results that you create directly or through the process of trying to create results, all of that becomes your responsibility from above the line.

And from above the line, that’s awesome. It’s radical. It’s exciting and interesting, fascinating, guilt-free, blame-free. 100% creative enterprise is to look into what was I responsible for and how did I help to create these circumstances that I claim I did not want in my own life or that I did.

How Did You Get To Where You Are Today?

So go way back, way back even to childhood and ask, what did I do to get myself here, here right where I am? Okay. So what did you do? What did you do to land yourself in this place where you are? Did it happen to you? Did the job and the relationships or the lack of job the apartment, the lack of the apartment, the company, the IPO, the failure, if any of this is like, oh, I don’t know. It just happened to me, especially in those areas, that’s where I really want you to go back and say, how did I help to create this? And trace the steps step-by-step of how you got here.

I often do this with my clients. I interview them. “How did you get here? How did you help to create this situation that you’re claiming not to want?” Sometimes they say, “well, I don’t know. I just had to.” Then, okay. So what did you need to believe to believe that you had to create this? What did you need to believe? I need to believe this. So there’s a choice, a choice to believe in something.

And that leads you down this path of belief, belief, belief. Suddenly you think that this is not just belief, but it’s knowledge of a fact. You think you’re right. You go forward and take actions and here you are. And again, this includes your intentional impact, your unintentional impact. This would be like in the process of doing something you perhaps unintentionally hurt yourself, others, the planet, your company, your children. These are hard things to look at understandably.

As soon as we look back we can see how we created it, but we don’t know how we could have created something else. And I had this experience last night with my own kids. So frustrated. So frustrated, getting them to soccer. They didn’t want it. We have the routine down, everything’s in the right place. Still, 30 minutes later, we’re leaving the house. Just, I was so below the line, guys. I still am asking myself, how did I help to create that?

But the thing is I don’t feel guilty about that. And I don’t feel blame about that. I’m going to look for “how I help create it,” and I’m also going to guide them through how they helped create it. And we’re going to find a way, a win-win, for how to get out of the house more quickly. And yes, that is my agenda. I get to make up that agenda because I’m the parent. They’re not capable of coming up with agendas yet, they’re quite young, but we’re going to work together to see what we can each be 100% responsible for? And what were we so that all of these transitions that happened throughout the day, getting to school, getting to soccer, all of it can go much more smoothly, because that’s the experience that I want to create with them.

And I trust that if it’s hard, some of that’s coming from me. Okay? It’s not just coming from them. Somehow I am helping to create that situation, that circumstance. And I only have access to more power and creativity in resolving that permanently if I’m insatiably curious, looking for how did I help to create that? Or what could I have done to create something different? And that’s deep work, my friends. That’s what I’m talking about with getting curious.

So now I hope you can see what I’m talking about, that these two first and most important commitments of 100% responsibility and insatiable curiosity, how those two are really interdependent, intertwined. Without curiosity, I’m not able to really see all that I can be responsible for. And without responsibility and all of the rewards that are provided by that, I’m much less likely to be curious. Without responsibility, I go to the familiar pattern of blame, and guilt, and victimhood, and heroing.

And that’s a story that we’ve seen in pretty much every movie that’s ever been created. That’s just called drama. 

How Can Curiosity Change the World?

But what if it’s so much more? What if, through our curiosity and our responsibility, and the magical potion that that is, we can create something that’s never, ever been seen by the world ever before? And you can create something in your life. You can surpass everything that you feel limited by, that your ancestors have felt limited by. All the generations. Everyone keeps repeating the same pattern. What if you actually create something new that can enroll others, and that can become the new pattern?

What if we can actually do that together? And instead of playing the defeatist with regard to massive global issues, we can say, what am, what am I responsible for? And if we can be curious about that so much that we are not feeling guilty, we are not in blame, we are not in victimhood, and instead it’s, I can take the reins, I can do something about this, I am excited to find out what happens when I try something new, what else can I try?

That insatiable curiosity is how we are going to resolve any problem that faces us as humans. It’s where creativity comes from. Curiosity seems like the most simple thing, but it can sometimes feel elusive. When we’re really locked into a pattern we think we’re really right, we think we know what the right answer is, we feel like there’s not enough time to deal with exploring this, or we feel dull, depressed, just everything’s feels like the same pattern playing out again and again, it can feel really, really hard in those times to bring curiosity back in.

So today I want to give you some tools as your coach to help you to reconnect to curiosity. And what’s going to be helpful here, if you’ll join me, is let’s talk about curiosity in the broadest possible sense. And what that means is you’ve completely dropped the idea that there is a right and a wrong. That there is a good and a bad. Even the fact that there’s a known and an unknown becomes a non-factor to you. And the idea that there’s anything that ever can be known is just a funny, funny joke. Because it can’t.

What is Authentic Curiosity?

I think that the heart of curiosity is that we embrace the life experience of the one who does not know anything. That means you’ve completely dropped the idea that there is a better answer, a worse answer, a better way things could be, or a worse way things could be. That there is a should in the shouldn’t that gets completely dropped. That there’s a can and can’t gets completely dropped. That there’s a right in the wrong way, even to approach this exercise gets completely dropped.

It seems like a paradox because I am giving you some challenging instructions here, but yet I want you to say, okay, so wherever I am with regard to this, however possible this feels to me right now, would I be willing to trust that there’s not a right or a  wrong place to be with regard to my level of curiosity? Would I be willing to play and just see, maybe I don’t know everything about what’s possible. Maybe there’s something else out there for me. Maybe today, for a moment, I will have a different experience. Would I be willing to let go just a little bit more, just for a moment, and then I might close back up again? But in that moment, would I be willing to allow a new experience?

You Are Not In Control, and That’s Okay

And that means that you’re releasing the idea that you need to be in control. And a really pivotal way to unlock that is to recognize that you never have been, you never have been in control. You can only control the very few things that are yours to control, your mindset, your choices, your behaviors, where you put your focus, your willingness to question your own beliefs, your willingness to notice your stories, to question your stories. These are things where you can bring your will into, but the question is, are you willing? And that’s something that’s much more useful in my experience to be curious about, rather than judgemental about.

So let’s release that idea that if you were in control, everything would be better. Okay? Let’s release the idea that if someone else were in control, everything would be better. And instead, just ask yourself these questions. How is this situation I’m facing in my life, the one I claim I don’t want, the one I feel really challenged by, how is that situation here for my own learning? Ask yourself that right now. How is this actually brought here to me for my own learning? Ask yourself, what is this asking me to create? What’s this situation asking me to create?

For this exercise, you can think of any kind of situation imaginable. You can think of a situation at work. You can think of a situation in your personal life, in your relationships, with your family, with your health, with your attitudes and your beliefs about the world and life in general, any situation. And you can ask yourself these questions. How is this here for my own learning? Let’s presume everything is of service, okay? How is this your asking me to create something? What’s it asking me to create?

And if you find yourself, in this exercise, below the line, then give yourself a little hug and just say, “Okay, okay, baby. I know that you’re here for a good reason.” Ask your little self, ask your little inner child that’s upset right now, cranky, sad, disheartened, irritated. Just say, what were you trying to achieve? What were you trying to get done? What can you recognize and appreciate about yourself? It’d be really, really curious about that.

And please listen to all the voices at one time. Sometimes there’s the one voice that can say, oh, what I appreciate is I was really trying to get my team to move more quickly. And I can see that that was at least my intention. And I also hear that voice saying, yeah, but I’ve already figured out the answer that if I want them to move more quickly, I needed to do in a different way. And curious enough to hold space for all of those different voices who are in your head right now. All of them are parts of you. So you can apply your curiosity to that, too, is what else do I think? Who else is here speaking up?

What is at the Core of Conscious Leadership?

Really, at the heart of leadership is this idea that we can be the change that we seek to create when we seek and believe that there is always win-win, a win for all. And that everything that is here now is here as your ally. Every situation, everything about you, every person and player in your scene, every challenge, every weakness, every strength, every shortcoming, every piece of scarcity, anything that you’re seeing here, all of it is here abundantly to be of service as a win for all, and is here as your ally.

And the willingness to accept that loving challenge comes from the root of curiosity. And that’s nested in this beautiful sense of safety and trust. And you can see why when we’re below the line, it feels really hard to hop into that sweet, safe, space. But if we grab a hold of just a little bit of it, a little bit of that curiosity, we can begin to find a little more space in ourselves, a little more relaxation to allow ourselves to surrender to the reality that we are in control of so little, that we know so very, very little, that the only thing that is knowable is what we observe and all we can know is that is our observation. You can’t even know that that’s real.

 

You are allowed to feel that expanse of unknown. You are allowed to be a beginner. You are allowed to be both a mentor and a student at the same time. You’re allowed to have no idea about the things in front of you. No preferences, no right answer. That doesn’t mean it’s time to look for a right answer. That means it’s time to enjoy the full experience of being alive as the beginner. And you’re allowed to enjoy being alive. So get yourself curious. With this mindset, we can really apply ourselves to creating something new, that breaks out of the patterns that perhaps we are not wanting to continue anymore.

I want to give you a quick heads up about this week’s Allowed insider bonus material. If you’re not an Allowed insider yet, that is where you’ve gone to, allowedpodcasts.com, you’ve signed up and you are receiving my weekly additional bonus content directly related to each episode. As well as behind-the-scenes extras, giveaways, more invitations to events. But if you’re not an Allowed insider yet, please do go to alllowedpodcast.com and sign up, and you will have instant access to exclusive free bonus material that is released with each episode and sent straight to you for you to have a deeper private coaching session with me. It’s only available to Allowed Insiders.

This week, you will be receiving me guiding you through asking open, honest questions. And that’s a special kind of question that really gives you access to true curiosity. It is amazing how this works when you bring it into conversations and relationships and how it makes every social experience feel so much more free, interesting, safe, grounded, but yet full of possibility. So I’ll guide you through learning about how to ask an open, honest question. You can ask it of yourself. And then I’m going to invite you to ask a spouse, a partner, a friend, a family member, someone at work, an open honest question.

It’s not as scary as it might sound. Actually, open on this questions is one of the most remarkably safe and soothing exercises you can do. And it takes less than one minute to do it. I promise you that. I’ve actually heard feedback from people who’ve done this exercise, that after three minutes of asking open, honest questions, they know someone that they’ve been talking to in that exercise, they know them better than they knew them from working together for the last seven years. I had someone say that on offsite once.

So that was pretty remarkable. And it just tells us about how we normally interact with each other and how not open and honest it is. But when given this simple set of constraints, you can find the question, you can access your curiosity and give yourself the treat of actually getting to know someone better, including yourself. So please do go to allowedpodcast.com and check that out. It’s one of my favorites and really a gift to you. I can’t wait for you to receive it.

How You Can Use Curiosity to Improve Both Intrapersonal and Interpersonal Communication

Okay. So back to curiosity. Curiosity is a core concept in conscious leadership, especially in conflict resolution and relationships. Understanding how to use curiosity to help your own mindset is the ultimate game changer. It’s human to want to control things. It’s human to want to have right answers, safety, and security. It’s human to feel like we need to belong. It’s human to be below the line about all of that stuff. And when we’re in that space, we are in judgment.

But if we can take all of that prejudgment out, if we can remove judgment about the answers that we’re seeking, and instead just ask the questions without a preference for the answer, if we can ask questions when we truly don’t know the answer, if we can stop prescribing solutions to ourselves when we actually don’t know the solution, then we can find honesty in our communication with ourselves and with others.

Now, we’re all so used to talking at people instead of to them. I’m talking to a camera and a microphone right now. So this is really hitting home for me. It’s kind of funny. I think this is a really good example in our technologically-mediated space, we’re especially used to being talked at and talking at others. Unfortunately, this way that we talk at others and tell others what to do or what to think, or we act like we don’t have any opinion there and we say, okay, well, my job now is only to listen, that kind of one way communication, it’s quite very binary and binding.

 

That’s also a way that we tend to talk at ourselves. I mean, if we could really turn up the volume in our interior monologue, we’re talking at ourselves so much. And we so rarely ask ourselves questions, true questions without a preference for an answer, with genuine curiosity. Like we really, really want to know the answer, but we don’t. If we can talk to ourselves with genuine curiosity, then we can find clarity, we can find answers to some of the big questions in a way that’s actually spacious and easy and comes at its own pace. And the process is free, interesting, safe, and fun.

People often look at leadership skills as relational. Okay? We think about leadership skills as, my leadership impacts others, but we forget that leadership is first applied to ourselves. This is especially useful when you’re practicing a skill like getting curious. How can looking at yourself in a curious and nonjudgmental way help you with your inner work, your personal growth and self-development, well, it helps because you shift away from that drama, blame cycle in your inner conversation, and you can shift into a place of responsibility and empowerment.

When you can apply curiosity to what else can I control? How did I create this? What else can I do about this? How is this here for my learning? How can I take some of this on as mine to own? You can find new ways to talk with yourself, to get into conversation about what are the other creative possibilities for you. And shift out of that drama, and the blame cycle of talking at yourself. And this will free up a lot of energy, creativity, and learning just by applying that curiosity in a nonjudgmental way.

We’ve discussed what curiosity is, but how can it really help you right now? How can you use curiosity to help you promote healthy and sustainable change in yourself? Curiosity has really broad application possibilities. It allows you to diagnose situations and to clarify paths forward. If there are situations where you feel like you don’t know why it’s the way that it is, or perhaps you haven’t even asked, you could begin to diagnose that. And most importantly include yourself in the mix. How is it that this became this way? What part did I play in choosing this situation? And what might be some different paths forward?

I would even dare you, as I often do if I’m like leading a team through a brainstorming exercise, to come up with some ideas that are horrible. Brainstorm some paths forward that there’s no way in the world you’d want to take that path forward. Brainstorm some that would get you in trouble, brainstorm some that would get you laughed at. Look for ways to break out of the typical patterns that you’re in and apply curiosity to, I wonder what I haven’t thought of yet, what I haven’t even allowed myself to think of yet?

Curiosity and Professional Development

So, for example, you can think of ways through your professional development goals this way. You may have a preconceived notion about a way to achieve a goal, but there might be 20,000 other ways to achieve that goal. So if you get really crazy with it and look for novel ways that would even shock yourself, I think you could find this exercise really fun and funny, then you might discover that there’s an easier path and you’ve even conceived of, or a path that would result in much more change. So you can definitely apply this to your professional growth as well as in your personal life.

So what are a few situations in your life where being curious about how you’re reacting or handling the moment could come in handy with your team members to ensure that they have fully thought through their projects, for instance, or with senior managers and partners to ensure that they fully understand what it is that they want, and what it is that you want? And that you understand where your work fits in with larger goals. If you could enter those types of sometimes intimidating, threatening, boring, irritating conversations, you could actually make those really interesting, productive, efficient, game-changing, and create sustainable lasting results that empower everyone.

You may be asking yourself, how can asking simple questions about my motivations and what I actually have done to create this, how can that actually help me catapult into real and lasting change? Well, curiosity facilitates, meaning it makes easier a greater level of clarity, a greater level of clarity that comes out of you being curious about the full context of an issue, the full context. Remember to include yourself and remember to include everything outside of yourself in that context. Remember that what really matters to you is something to be curious about.

Finding Clarity and Prioritization Through Curiosity

Sometimes we have preconceived notions about what we think matters to us. And when we just continue to abide and not question those notions about what really, really matters to us, we  can’t create change. We cannot create permanent change when we are not willing for what matters to us to change.

So I like to look at, what are the results I’ve been creating unintentionally? What can those results teach me about what I’m actually committed to? Would I be willing to honor what I’m actually committed to? I seem to continue creating these same results, what must it be that I really want, that really matters to me, that I’m really committed to, because here I am continuing to do these behaviors? If I can treat myself with that amount of love and grace, I can create the life that I want as it continues to evolve. And that creative, curious work is never done.

Curiosity can help us break out of bad habits and thought patterns that don’t serve us anymore. How can being curious help you out of your mindset ruts? How can it help you understand the deeper-level causes, the more fundamental truths, and access those higher level outcomes? So I want to give you a couple of exercises here, a couple of quick tools that you can use to bring curiosity into your daily life and help you to be the leader that you so want to be and to be that best leader that you are.

First sentence stems. We’ve covered these in previous episodes. I love sentence stems. Sentence stem is simply a fill-in-the-blank sentence. So I start a sentence and it’s basically a question hidden as a sentence. You were going to complete the question. And you can use these to ask yourselves at least one question daily. This could be your morning prompt for journaling. This could be something that you asked yourself just as a way to make your morning run a little bit more productive and interesting, and do some of your self work while you’re doing something else. It could be a shower. It could be gardening. It could be racing through your house, whatever. No judgment here. Okay? It’s okay.

I’ll give you a couple of examples. Something that I’m really curious about myself today is… All right. Now, if that one stumps you, because you’re like, well, I’m not really curious about anything about myself, all the more reason to sit with the sentence stem and find a way to answer it honestly and truthfully.

Here’s another sentence stem. If you really, really know me, then you would know… Fill in the blank. This is a really fun one to do, by the way, in teams, and groups, and groups of friends, over dinner, you can do several rounds of “if you really know me”. You can go from, if you really, really knew me to, if you really, really, really knew me to, if you really, really, really, really knew me. You get it. You might really surprise yourself as you begin to open up with us and find out the things that you didn’t even really quite realize you knew about yourself as you reveal. And it’s very fun to do it with others.

Okay? One last sentence stem. Something about myself that I’m working on right now is… And you may be consciously working on something or non-consciously working on something, but find out whatever that thing is and find an answer. You’d be amazed how much is happening non-consciously. When you ask yourself these questions, you get to discover you’re doing so much more work than you probably realize you’re doing. You’re doing so much more good stuff for your service, for everyone else’s service, you are doing so much more. And if you take that time and just ask yourself a simple question, honestly a few moments, to get curious and find the answer, you’d be surprised that you can probably answer any question that there is out there and learn something in the process.

What is an Open and Honest Question?

Another thing that you can do to work on your level of curiosity is practicing asking open, honest questions. This is a coaching skill, it’s also just a good conversation skill. What is an open, honest question? An open, honest question is one that is open-ended. It’s not a yes or no, red or blue. It is one where it’s going to start a conversation. So that’s element number one. The second thing is, the question is honest. Meaning I honestly have this question. I’m genuinely curious about it. And it’s honestly a question. It’s not a leading question where I’m trying to get you to answer a certain way. It’s not a question where I have a preference about what the right and wrong answer is. And it’s not one where I think I know what the answer is. It’s an open question. And it’s an honest question.

And what you can do is you can sit with someone and you can actually wait for an open, honest question to arise, and only ask the question when you have one. And then openly, honestly, listen to the answer. If you’re only listening to the podcast, and we’re going to wrap up here, there’s a lot for you to think about, okay?

But if you want to go deeper, please go to allowedpodcast.com. There you will become an Allowed insider, and get a guide to open on this questions which will remind you how to be thinking in an open, honest question type of way. And then I’ll guide you through an exercise that you can complete with a friend, a spouse, a business partner, a colleague, and learn how to spark your genuine and genius curiosity in yourself and in others. I promise you we’ll get to know each other so much better and in a much more interesting, alive way than you ever could have before. This audio guide is yours, available absolutely free when you sign up. So please join me and sign up at allowedpodcast.com.

I also want to quickly remind you to subscribe to the podcast right now if you aren’t already subscribed. And be sure to share this show with your friends, your family, and your colleagues, too. That’s so, so helpful for helping others find the show and to get the value that you are getting in.

Additional Conscious Leadership Resources

Now I’m going to guide you through a few additional resources, including previous episodes that relate to today’s content. In season one, we covered a lot of the foundational basics here. In episode 16, we met with Simon Darcy and covered tools for authentic relating and most famously sentence stems. I cannot tell you how many people have emailed me, telling me all about how they began to use sentence stems and what a brilliant tool it is. By the way, it’s great for parties.

Episode 58, what is integrity? Episode 39, we talked about whole-body yes and being curious about what your whole-body yes is and is not to today. In episode six, we cover the very foundational drama triangle, which I talked about at the beginning of today’s episode, the hero, the victim, and the villain, and how those show up for you below the line. Episode number two, we went with Luke Entrup and talked about triggers and our shadows. And these are those parts of ourselves that we have not been willing to own, or claim, or represent, or be responsible for, or even see. And curiosity is a great tool to apply to when we get triggered and when our shadow shows up and feels out of our own control.

I also am going to link to one of my favorite books by Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way. This book, I think I read it in high school. I still have my old copy. And I have the new one because the old one’s falling apart. I’ve done it so many times. I love The Artist’s Way. So The Artist’s Way, it contains so many good tools for stoking your curiosity. I really treat all leadership and all of life as an artistic pursuit. She does, too. And this is where my morning pages practice comes from. She’s got a really cool tool called The Artist Date, where you take your artist out on a date. That’s your inner-self by the way. And you just use it as a place to get inspired and to stoke your curiosity.

Love, love, love that book. I will link to that and to her work. And I want to a nice warm goodbye. Thank you so much for being here today, for showing up for yourself. When you show up for yourself, you are showing up for others. And you dedicating the time means a whole lot. Thank you for being here with me. Please become an Allowed insider at allowedpodcast.com. And I’ll see you next week at your next session.

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How to Get Creative About Change: The Change Formula

How to Get Creative About Change: The Change Formula

One Foot After the Other: How to Make Lasting Change   Okay, fine, I admit it!!  I am obsessed with mountaineering documentaries.  Thank you, sweet, dear Netflix…  Watching someone going through the experience of climbing a mountain and...

The Wisdom of the 5 Core Emotions

The Wisdom of the 5 Core Emotions

Riding the Waves of Emotion Is there anything better than a bike ride along the coast? The sea breeze with seagulls flying overhead. Ah… I LOVE my hometown! Manhattan Beach was once a hidden gem surfer town. Today it’s a little less hidden...

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