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How to Get Creative About Change: The Change Formula – Transcript

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Season 2, Episode #6: The Change Formula: How to Get Creative About Change

Hello fearless friends, welcome to Allowed, the conscious leadership, and personal growth podcast. I am your coach, Dr. Caneel Joyce. I want to start today’s session a little bit differently than I typically do. It’s actually one of the ways I start coaching sessions with my actual high-paying clients. And these are executives, CEOs, and founders of typically venture-backed startups that are growing super, super quickly. A lot of times we begin our conversations with what we call an unarguable check-in. Wouldn’t it be nice to be inarguable where no one, not even your inner critic, can argue with what you say.? The unarguable check-in is a way to connect with yourself and the other person you’re speaking with in a way that helps strengthen this skill of unarguability and of being in the zone of reality, where life happens. It’s what I talked to you about on last week’s episode, where you check in with yourself and your inner being. First, you check in and you observe your body sensations, your emotions. And finally, you check-in and notice your own thoughts and observations. All of this is done without judgment. And one of the keys to making it easy to be without judgment is by simply putting a period at the end of each statement.

The Unarguable Check In

Last week, you dug into the core emotions, and I only briefly covered body sensations. So before you do your check-in, let’s refresh on those. First to put this into a broader context. At the most basic level, a fact is an observation. It’s either an observation of the outside world around you or your inner experience. Facts about the outside world around you are things that can literally be measured or recorded in an objective way that no one would argue with. We like to talk about it as what the video camera could see. This includes what you see, what you hear, what you smell, what you taste, and what you can touch. Once we start getting deeper down that list, we get closer and closer to the inner experience, But still objectively speaking, there are observations made through our five senses. There’s also the group of observations and facts that exist in our inner experience, and this is usually a pretty cool realization. My body sensations are facts, they’re not opinions. My emotions are facts, they are not opinions. And my thoughts, the fact that I’m having that thought, that’s a fact. Does it mean my thought itself is a fact? No, but the fact that I’m having the thought, that’s a fact. So the unarguable check-in is observing your inner experience using the unarguable language of facts. So go ahead and practice feeling into your body sensations. And again, this may sound a little woo woo, but I do this with my executive teams who are Fortune 500 companies, who are multi-billion dollar companies, who are publicly treated companies, and everybody plays along. You can too. So go ahead, practice feeling your body sensations, and I will guide you. The first step, what is the body part that you are most aware of right now in this now moment? Simply name that body part. Is it your shoulder, which shoulder? Left or right. Your toes, your tummy, your face? Now, just name the sensation that you are experiencing in that body part. What has your awareness there? And some examples of words you might use here are tingling, pressure, energy, moving, hot or cold, tightness, pleasure, swirling, and opening. You can keep going from there. What you notice about these words is while you may have a preference for a certain feeling or another, these are pretty nonjudgmental words and they certainly aren’t trying to explain where the feeling came from or why. That’s really key. It’s just naming the sensation as it is in this now moment as you’re currently explaining it, and experiencing it without making it mean anything. Great. Now let’s continue with the next two parts of the unarguable check-in. The second part is emotion. What emotion is most present here for you right now in this now moment? And remember here, use the simple and unarguable language of those five core emotions that we talked about last week. And these are joy, sadness, fear, anger, or creative feelings, which also could be called sexual feelings or desire. Here you get to pick your pleasure and your comfort level about how you want to describe it. But this is basically the energy of things that want to get created, and it does include things like inspiration and drive and motivation and desire. And just anything that signals that there’s something new that wants to emerge here, there’s something new that wants to be born. Each of these core emotions, joy, sadness, fear, anger, sexual feelings, and desire, is equally valid, valuable, and present in the human experience. We experience these as babies. We experience them on our death beds, and they really define the range of our experience as human beings. And then there are more fine-grained emotions, of course, that you’ve probably seen on Pinterest or in an emotion wheel. Just stay basic here. Okay, so you found your body sensation, you found your core emotion. Amazing. Now, check-in and notice what is the next thought that you have? Don’t be precious about this. There’s no right or wrong, good or bad thought. The very next thought, it’s often going to be connected to something that you are observing with your senses. My next thought is, that the camera’s looking right at me. My next thought is, I wonder when I’m going to eat lunch next? Or it may be connected to an emotion. My next thought is, I wonder if you’re judging me right now. So just whatever the next thought is, doesn’t matter. It doesn’t mean anything, it doesn’t mean anything about you. It doesn’t mean anything about what has to happen next or what you need to do about it. Just name it. Practicing non-judgment puts a period at the end and you are done. When you’re doing this thought exercise, this is where we often get really run away with ourselves. And I want you to be curious about that, but really practicing the unarguable check-in, being honest and simple about it. So a thought could be a story. It could be an observation. It could be a judgment that you have or an opinion, or something that you’re really wanting at the time. Some sentence stems that could get you started if you’re having a hard time with this category are, I had an idea that, or, I’m making up a story that, or, I notice I’m curious about, or, my mind is busy. It’s just busy. My thought is, whoa, busyness up there. Or, my mind is blank. Or, I feel confused. Any of those is actually a thought. It’s a judgment, a story, an interpretation of your lived reality that is experienced primarily through your body. Now, now that you’ve checked in, and again in practice, this actually only takes 10 seconds. Your mind is now naturally more engaged in the present moment. I just asked you to check-in in this now moment with this whole inner world, the inner experience that is always happening and we so rarely consciously observe. This is an opportunity for us to get curious. Stoking our curiosity brings us in a more open state to any interaction, conversation, or work we’re about to do. It heightens our awareness. It brings us to a curious, present state that gives us the ability to learn and create and to be non-judgemental in whatever we’re about to embark upon. Now, this is a core practice of being a creator, that open willingness to observe with an open lens that is not filtering through with what’s allowed and what’s not allowed. It’s an opportunity to be radically responsible for your own ability to notice what’s happening inside of you. And guess who’s the only person who can know what’s happening inside of you? You are. And that’s why these are your facts. No one can argue with you. I hope that this practice has helped you arrive into this now moment, a little more present, more curious, more in touch with your own aliveness. Congratulations, wasn’t that just so easy? Now, it’s really important during today’s session to be present in that state, because we are going to be getting serious about figuring out what you want and setting you up for success to actually get it.

How to Get What You Want

The first step in reaching your goal is making a goal. And that word goal, is often is tinged with a lot of achievement motivation and egoic drives that often are coming from a below the line place of, I need to be better than I am. I’m not enough, I need to be more productive. Or something needs to be different in the world, it’s not all perfect just how it is. So I use that word quite lightly, but I think it’s a pretty good placeholder for there’s somewhere that I want to go that is not where I currently am. So you’re going to get really creative today and bring maybe different energy than you’re used to using when you think about the word goals.  You’re going to start to reimagine your vision for yourself in your future, and you are going to use the word vision with a capital V. Why is it capital? Because the vision I’m referring to is part of that vision piece of the change formula equation that I’ve talked about before on this show. If you haven’t already or if you haven’t recently, I highly recommend after today’s episode going back and listening to episode 38 of season one on the change formula. Today, I will give you a brief reminder and overview of this formula, but episode 38 goes way deeper. And it’s such a powerful formula for you to create lasting change in your life. So I want to make sure that you had that episode number and that you can go back and listen. I’ll also put it in the show notes at so that you can easily find it. And when you go to, you can also sign up there to become an Allowed insider. And this will give you instant access to the exclusive free bonus coaching content. It’s an audio track that’s released with each and every episode, a private coaching session between you and I, you and me, you and myself. How do you say that? Today, you will get the willingness booster as part of the Allowed insider program. This is a quick guide that will help you to boost your vision, your discomfort, and your self-support so that you can get the most from the change formula. Each of these ingredients, vision, discomfort, and support are the elements that either create the willingness to change or create your resistance to change. So we’re going to use this booster tool that’s part of Allowed Insider only so that you can increase the value of each of these variables for yourself and get yourself over the hump on whatever change it is that you want to make. Now there’s a big difference between wanting change and being willing to change, and that’s the focus of today. You can get this audio guide free right now when you sign up to become an allowed insider at

What is the Change Formula?

Let’s jump right in. First, what is the change formula? Let me begin by just giving a little bit of a level set here and help you know how normal it is to feel a bit frustrated, that even though you seem to want to change, you haven’t changed yet. Or there’s a way that you want to change in a much bigger way than you have and you keep running into roadblocks, and you sometimes know you’re the one creating the roadblocks. And sometimes it feels like they’re happening to you. But either way, the change is not happening. And these could be changes in your ability level in some area, your discipline, your habits. These could be changes in the material world around you, in your life, your home, your relationships, your work, your career, your relationship with money, and how much money flows through and into your accounts. And it might be something to do with the way that you think about yourself or life or others. There are so many ways that we often are even being told that it’s useful to change, and I know that for the high-achievers out there, which is most of you, you get really revved up and excited when you think about the change. It’s easy to get busy without addressing, am I actually willing? My secret is I trust your willingness. If you say, “I really want to change,” what I’d want to know is are you really willing? It’s actually healthy to be resistant to change. Change is disruptive to the system and it’s unwise and unsustainable to constantly be trying to change everything. So that’s why this is such a great little pause to say, am I really willing? And how do you know if you’re willing? Well, you look at your results. You look at your behavior so far. If you were willing to change, you would have. How do I know you’re not willing? You haven’t. But sometimes I know I hear that. Like, I really want to though, even though what you’re saying is right, I think I’m willing, I want to be willing. Help me. Today you’re going to get that help that you’ve been asking for. This is where the change formula comes in, and it does require some work. It requires a lot of awareness. It requires you to allow yourself to answer these questions honestly as you actually are in this now moment. And it involves a big dose of creativity, which is what I love about it. So what is the change formula? It’s this equation, vision times discomfort plus a little support equals your willingness to change. I was just talking about how humans, in general, resist change. All beings do. Essential to life, is homeostasis. So in general, you can presume that your willingness to change is equal to less than zero. It’s a negative number. I like to think of it from negative one up to positive one. A negative one means no change will happen. A positive one means change is happening. And your only goal, once you’ve decided you really, really want to change and you want to boost your willingness, is to get that number of willingness a little bit above zero. Any above zero you will begin to change. You will begin to see progress. And I really invite you into the mindset that the pace is not up to you. You don’t know the best pace for change. The only thing you can know is your willingness to take the next baby step, the very next baby step.

The Change Formula: How to Create a Vision

So let’s look at each of these components of the change formula. The first one is vision. Vision is your ability to see the future that you want, and it’s the degree to which that future vision is compelling and clear. We talk about leaders being visionary, like organizational leaders, and company leaders, and it’s the same thing there. It’s they can create and hold a clear vision. They can paint a picture that is so compelling that it motivates an entire group of disconnected people to work together, which is not easy. And to put self-interest aside to work as a collective to get something done that has not been done before. The vision is an imagined future reality that does not exist yet. And how good the vision is is directly related to how clear is the vision? How much can you see it, feel it, taste it, touch it? And how compelling is it? How motivating, how inspiring, how important, how sexy, how heartfelt, how deep? And you will feel this by the way, in a slightly sexual way, or maybe not so slightly. It is the energy of creation that you feel when you are struck with a clear and compelling vision. You want it so badly. Think about the most desire you’ve ever felt in your life and what you were imagining or seeing at the time, and that’s what I’m talking about. So how do you begin to assess how big your V is? How big is your vision in this vision component of the change formula? Well, is that energy there? Is the energy of creativity there? Is it clear? Can you really see it? Can you see all the detail and how magnificent it is? Leave no stone unturned here. Is there any element of this that feels like it’s in a blind spot, and can you just bring your mental paintbrush in and clarify those pieces of it? It helps me to think about it as it might be a really wishy-washy watercolor in some spots, or perhaps it’s a painting that’s been covered in dust. And can I mentally even, or even you can see on the video, you can see I’m doing this with my hands. I close my eyes and I really picture myself as I wipe my hand in real life, and I’m wiping away the dust to see what’s under there? And then if there’s nothing there, I say, “What do I want to put there?” And I stay really connected to that creative energy of desire to inform what’s going to populate each section and layer of this beautiful painting I’m creating, which is my vision. So this is your chance to get creative. I want you to connect with that full-body yes that we talked about in the last episode, and finding that foundation in your body of, oh, like when it’s a full-body yes, my heart says yes, my head says yes, my gut says yes, my body says yes, my spirit says yes. And when I feel that I know I have just created an electric vision, and that vision has a positive value in this formula and it’s worth something. An exercise that I can guide you through is to set a timer for five minutes, some area that you want to create change in, and just begin to write longhand, meaning pen and paper, every thought or vision. Or just even a whim that you have imagined that’s related to this issue. And I do this with my CEO clients all of the time. What could it be like? It was even better than that. Could you make it even bigger and better? What if you could wave a magic wand and remove all obstacles to getting there and you didn’t have to worry about how you got there or if it was the right place to get? Or if it’s allowed? Or if people are going to judge you? Or what’s at stake that could be lost along the way? What if you just were focused on making it the best vision possible, what would it be then? And often we find we have a lot of rules that we use to limit ourselves. So really get silly and risky and super, super curious and excited about the possibilities here, of what if anything were allowed to be in your vision? Because guess what? It is. Anything is allowed here. Bring out your childlike wonder and go for it. And this reminds me of during the beginning of COVID, my mom would talk with my daughter on FaceTime because we weren’t interacting, we weren’t seeing each other in person. And my daughter was four at the time and they planned a four-day long birthday party extravaganza over the course of months, when COVID was done, this is going to be the birthday. And it became so big and multi… There were so many elements that were part of this birthday vision, but this really kept her going day by day as she had just lost so much social interaction and support. And for a hardcore extrovert who’s four, that’s super, super hard. So I saw the ability for a really clear vision that luckily my mother was so good at helping make things bigger. And like, what if it’s even more amazing than that? What would it include then? And it was over the top and it was awesome, and we actually did it. And it was so much fun. But that’s the level of childlike wonder I’m asking you to do. Would you think it’s okay to have a four-day-long birthday extravaganza? Well, go for it. Do the thing you really want. So now you’re just freeform brainstorming and you’re not letting your pencil stop. You’re going to keep that pencil moving, you can edit later. Don’t edit now, just keep going. And if you want to do this right now, you can go ahead and press pause and grab some pen and paper or your favorite notebook. And you can also do this later. You can listen to the full episode, come back and do it later. There’s zero pressure here. So by the end of this, you now have a list or a narrative about what your favorite possible ever imagined future looks like. And then you can check-in and say, how clear, how compelling? Can I make it more so? And wherever it gets to is perfect. Is perfect. If there’s zero vision there you’re not likely to change. But if there’s any degree of vision there, you are going to be able to experience something as long as we also can find some discomfort. So for those who don’t remember your math class super well from school, I will remind you that when you multiply anything times zero it’s equal to zero. And when you multiply anything times a negative number it’s negative. So the key here is we just want vision and discomfort to both be in the positive zone, and then we will end up with the willingness to change. It’s that easy.

The Change Formula: The Power of Discomfort

Let’s move on to the big D, discomfort. I want to quickly discuss the power and the beauty of the often neglected discomfort piece of the change formula equation. I’m recording this here from sunny Los Angeles, California, which is my hometown and where I live now. And we are located in the United States of America. And I would say those are three different layers, Los Angeles, California, United States of America, of culture on me that you may also experience as being super optimistic. And we love to do vision work here. We love to dream, this is the city of dreams. This is the country of dreams. We have something called the American dream, not shared by all but often promoted. And the whole thing about the dream, that’s the vision piece. But what we don’t do a lot of here is the discomfort piece. We are a nation of pain killers. We don’t like discomfort here. This has not been something we’ve been trained in how to do. However, if you look back through our history you’ll find there’s a great deal of discomfort that got us to where we are. It takes a lot of discomfort to make it over the Rocky mountains in the middle of the winter, and that’s what the pioneers did. How did they do that? They had the vision of manifest destiny. We need to get to the other side. That was clear, but we’re going to work the discomfort of, we don’t want to be there anymore. We want to leave. Picture yourself. You’re in the dust bowl, it’s the Great Depression. You cannot stay anymore and be okay. You are so uncomfortable that you are willing to pack up what little you have and a few cents and hope that you can make it through the next day. That’s discomfort, and it is a very motivating force. And we so seldom use it because our main goal is often to avoid discomfort at all costs. And we sometimes use vision and all of that creative energy as frankly, a hero move, a way to escape the discomfort of the here and now without getting into action. What’s really key is that you practice feeling your discomfort. So what is it about how it is now in whatever issue you’ve chosen to focus on today? What is it that you don’t like? What’s uncomfortable about it? And I’ve asked you some questions which may have gotten you up into your head a bit, so I’m going to invite you to also check in and go deeper down into your body and your emotions. I want you to feel how unpleasant it is now, or even imagine if things keep going this way, what will that future look like? And how uncomfortable is that? And I’ve done this with so many leaders. I’ve noticed there is a pattern at this point of making it all okay, well, it’d be okay because I’d work through it. No, not in this exercise. In this exercise, it’s how uncomfortable can you make yourself? So I want you to feel the pain, feel it, and you will know you feel it because you’ll feel it in your body. It feels like a shot of pain has been sent into your entire bloodstream. I want you to feel the ickiness, Ugh, the disgusting gross, I want to get away. That pushing back feeling of a version, like move this away from me. I want you to feel how much you want to move away. You might feel it in your hands, like a pushing out, pushing back, pushing down. You might feel it in your gut, queasiness or twisting or turning. You might feel like your feet want to push down against the floor and your legs want to start running away. You might want to cover yourself up and wrap yourself up, and really close your eyes as tight as possible and just stick your head in the sand and hope that it goes away or devours you in the meantime. Feel those feelings. Practicing feeling that discomfort can help you to really clarify how big the D is in your change formula. Another thing you can do is you can go back to your vision, feel how much you want it. Feel the desire, feel the sexy gap between where you are now and what that is and could be. And now imagine you will never have it. How uncomfortable is that? Imagine that you take no steps toward that vision. Are you comfortable with that? And there’s no right or wrong answer to this, but I think you’re playing with me here because you do want change. But I want you to be really, really honest with yourself and gentle about, well, maybe right now there’s just not sufficient discomfort. Maybe the vision isn’t so compelling. Maybe it’s not that different from where I am right now. Maybe I’m trying to make myself change but really I don’t want to. I think I want to, but that’s only a little part of myself that’s trying to achieve something that is really not my goal to begin with. This is one of the coolest things about this formula is you cannot do it wrong, you can only learn. Which is actually true of all things. But in this case, I actually am hoping that half of you write to me and say, oh my gosh, I boosted the change formula and I am on my way. And change is happening, some of it I’m doing is just happening so easily because I have the willingness now. And I hope that the other half of you write to me and say, oh my gosh, I thought I wanted to change in this way. And I’ve been putting in all this effort and getting super busy, and I’ve been buying the books and doing the courses. And what I found out is I’m not willing. Congratulations, high five, you are free. You don’t need to do that anymore. It’s off your plate. Put it in its place. Something else will want to get born. Don’t worry, life doesn’t stay the same. You’re going to find something where you will find the willingness. And I want you to be like just as attuned to not willing as you are to willing, neither one is better or worse. We actually really need both of them. We really, really need both of them. So embrace wherever this leads you.

The Change Formula: Why Support Encourages Change

Let’s talk a bit about the last element, which is a mini element. And some people who write about the change formula don’t cover this. I cover it because I think it’s useful, it’s been useful for me. The last one is plus support. And you only get to add this element if vision times discomfort is equal more than zero. As long as you have some of both of those then you get to add support, but it’s wasteful and distracting in your life to add support and a change that you actually don’t want to make. And I can speak about this firsthand from trying to hire people to fix problems I actually deep down found out I didn’t want to fix. Or, personal trainers come to mind. I can also remember times where I’ve been hired to address issues inside of organizations, but at the end of the day, there was no genuine willingness around changing. And that’s actually how I became a coach, was finding out that companies hire consultants all day to fix problems that they were the ones who created them. And that really they don’t want them changed, but they would like to look like they’re changing them. And I don’t want to be hired for that purpose anymore, and so I don’t. I don’t. And I discovered though this is just such a fascinating thing that humans do, is we love to stay busy and pretend that we are working on certain stuff. Because we’re trying to distract ourselves in the world from the things that we actually would most benefit from working on. So this is why I’m big on [inaudible 00:34:41] support until you find out that you are willing. You’ve got to be willing to do some of the work here, otherwise there’s no action. But when you are ready, when you have found that, yes, I have willingness. I have a vision and I have discomfort. Maybe neither is huge but I have some. Now, ask yourself, how can I make this easier? What support could I give myself and what support could I seek from others or other resources to make it easier for me to complete these actions in front of me or complete this mindset shift that I want to make? How can I make it easier to change? And this is where the things like books and podcasts and courses and coaches come in. This is where you going on a retreat comes in or you buying an awesome new outfit, or working with a personal trainer, or deciding to buy that bottle of vitamins. Or whatever the thing is, that’s where it comes in. This is where you designing a different schedule for your week or your day comes in, of like, I have found out I’m willing, and since I’m willing, you know what would make it easier for me to work out every morning would be I’m going to buy one to those lights that wake me up really easily in the morning and my body thinks it’s sunlight. And so I get my extra half hour to get my workout in, whatever it is. This is where you could easily get super distracted going too far down this path, so never forget that when you’re willing you’ll find a way. But also it doesn’t have to be hard. So how do I know you’re willing? You’ve started making it easier for yourself. That’s a big way. So have fun with this support element and just know that it can be a distraction if you haven’t really done the inner work to find out if you’re willing to begin with. The core of this is the vision and the discomfort.

How to Guide Yourself Through Personal Growth: Follow Your Whole Body Yes

Season two of Allowed is about applying the core concepts of this material, a lot of which were introduced in a fundamental way in season one. And applying them to your life and the things that matter most to you. And so I’d like to connect the dots between the change formula and these different elements, and the other concept that is one of my favorites, which is the whole body. Yes, I mentioned this briefly at the beginning of today’s episode. We’ve covered it in many other episodes before which I will link to in the show notes, and I’ll share a list with you of those at the end of today’s episode. Whole body yes means my head says yes, my heart says yes, my gut says yes, and my soul says yes. And all of those things combined, if I don’t have a yes, it means I have a no. I actually let my soul have a little preferential treatment here. And if my soul says yes but the others don’t, I wait and I listen more. And if my soul says no and every other one of those says yes, it’s a full stop. Soul gets veto power. So this is my connection to my calling or my source, and you can think of that however you like, if those words make sense to you. But I think it’s just a useful reminder that sometimes we have a calling, we have no idea why. And I think this podcast is actually a manifestation of that very principle. So I had been wanting to make the Allowed podcast for a long time. It wasn’t called Allowed in my mind, I didn’t know what it was. I didn’t know what it was about. I didn’t know what it was called. And I didn’t know what it was for. And what I did know was my headset, it makes no sense. It makes no sense for me to make a podcast right now. My business is a coaching business, and I don’t believe I’m going to get any marketing lift from this and I don’t need more clients. And it’s just, why would I do this? But guess what? My soul said yes. And in my team, all of our souls said yes. And then boom, down came the name and here we are. And it’s awesome. And I follow that guidance. And it may be that your vision is related to that soul yes. And it may be that’s not something that is the way that you think about it or experiencing it, but you have a whole body yes to the vision. You’re like, I want it. There’s no part of me that doesn’t want it. And I just need the fire power to move forward. Feeling that whole body yes when you look at the vision is a prerequisite for willingness. If you don’t have the whole body yes, your vision is equal to less than zero. Or maybe it’s zero. Either way, you’re not going to get anywhere in terms of boosting your willingness or really making lasting change. You’ll probably end up back where you are again. So trust it. There’s no point in going through the exercise of trying to change for a few months or a few years, because you don’t have a yes to the change. It could be that the change is scary. Your gut might be scared. Your emotion might be fear. Your thoughts might be filled with all of the ways that this could go wrong. So I want you to notice that all those fears and stuff, they typically are not going to be about the vision itself. They’re not going to be usually about the sexy view at the top of the mountain. They’re often about the rocks and the unknown obstacles between where you are now and where you will be at the final destination. So picture you are on that hike and you’re climbing a mountaintop. If you’re only looking down at the rocks underneath you and you’re only scanning for danger and risk and thinking about how hard each and every step is and how much you want to be done. It’s not a fun way to get up the mountain and you probably won’t. What makes it possible to get up the mountain is that your eyes every now and then, you organize yourself such that you lift your face and bring your eyes to attend to the top of the mountain. And you envision, and you feel how much you want to get there. And sometimes this means you take off your hiking boots, you massage your feet, you sit down and you eat some trail mix. And you enjoy that view, knowing that with rest and a rhythm of renewal you will get there. And maybe the pace is not as fast as you think you want, but it is the pace that is doable for you. And you enjoy the pace as it is. So whole body yes comes in so many places here. Do I have a whole body yes for being at the top of the mountain? Do I have a whole body yes for just pausing every now and then and taking stock of myself? And what does my body need? Do I need that foot massage? Do I need to apply some moleskin? Do I have a blister? Is it time for me to maybe check the map again and try a different route, or sing some campfire songs and keep us going? What do you need? And that would be all the support stuff. But then also how this applies to discomfort is when you think about where you are now, maybe you say, oh, I don’t want it to be this way anymore. I do want it to change. But do you have a whole body yes for it staying how it is now? And typically the answer will be no, that’s why it’s uncomfortable. No, I don’t. And this really helps with overcoming the fear. Yes. I’m scared. And I will move with my fear instead of waiting for it to go away because I do not have a whole body yes to it’s staying how it is, I just don’t. And for me that’s a clear signal that it’s time for me to move. Even if I have no idea where I’m going sometimes, it’s time for me to start shifting things, shaking things up. And we’re only talking about the willingness to take the next baby step. A key component of being a creator is I take baby steps. I take baby steps, sometimes I can only see one stepping stone ahead and I take it and then I take stock, what’s the next stepping stone I can see. And I’m willing to sometimes go back and try a different stepping stone. I’m not asking you, are you willing to get to the top of the mountain? Because when we do that, you start saying, well, I don’t even know what the mountain looks like or how I was going to feel or how I’m going to be on the way up. I’m just asking, are you willing to take the next step? And that is change. That is change. So whole body yes connects to each and every component of this, and the more you practice feeling and following your whole body yes, and not following anything that’s not, yes, the better you will be at the little micro-decisions between here and the rest of eternity that are presenting you with the choice of, are you willing to move forward with this or not?

Are You Willing to Change?

Do you want to take it on or not? And you will find you become masterful at this very in the moment, conscious self-leadership and creativity. That is the basic ingredient of a creative life. You are an artist and a leader of your own life, and your life is a work of art as are you. Exactly where you are is exactly where you’re supposed to be. And I trust your answers to all of these questions so insanely deeply, and I hope you do too. So the willingness piece is the key here. You can go back to and get this week’s Allowed Insider, which is the willingness booster. I’m so excited about this audio guide. And I will also give you our change formula worksheet, so this is a worksheet you can print out or you can sketch it out or however you want to use it. It’ll help you to boost your vision, boost your discomfort, and bring additional sources of support so that you can get your willingness as far above zero as you want to. And this bonus material is completely free at and it will help you to get the most out of the change formula. This is something that you can use anytime there’s a change you want to make in your life. You may find yourself coming back to it several times just in the course of trying to make one change, because after you’ve taken a baby step or two, you may discover new levels of willingness appear. The mountaintop is clear. The vision has evolved and become bigger, sexier, juicier, more awesome, more compelling, more clear. And you may be like, I’m actually even more uncomfortable than I realized. Let’s boost the D. I want you to get this material, so please go to and you can get the most out of the change formula with this additional booster audio. You, my friend, you are allowed to grow. You are allowed to dream, and you are allowed to change. You are allowed to be exactly who you are and to become the next version of who you want to be. I want to share with you some additional resources here that are also linked to in the show notes.

Additional Conscious Leadership Resources

In episode 38 I covered the change formula in-depth. Episode 58 covered what is integrity, and integrity is one of… It’s one of the results of living in line with your whole body yes and of being honest about your true willingness to change, your true vision, your true level of discomfort. Episode 39 covered the whole body yes in detail, and episode 46 talked about fact versus story. Remember I was talking about the rocks, the obstacles on the way between where you are and the top of the mountain. Most of those rocks are probably stories. So fact versus story episode 46 is a useful one for being able to distinguish between a genuine obstacle and an imagined one, and giving you some tools to begin to dismantle and erase the rocks that are not there to begin with. Thank you fearless leader for showing up for yourself here today. When you lead yourself, you lead the rest of the world and you have a positive impact on all things around you. I will see you next time.

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