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2 Truths and 1 Very Popular Lie

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Let’s play 2 truths and a lie. I’ll go first…

The lie in those 3 statements is often passed down societally as a truth.

Suffering builds character.

If it’s not hard work it’s not valuable work.

Everyone suffers.

If you suffer now, it’ll pay off later.

I’m here to say it doesn’t need to be that way. You don’t have to buy into that.

The thought that you need to suffer to succeed is untrue!

I don’t mean to say that success doesn’t take hard work because it often does… but it doesn’t have to feel root canal level difficult or even gnarly paper cut-y painful.

So where is this suffering coming from and how do you break free?


Victimhood Leads to Unnecessary Suffering

Has anyone ever said to you “Well that’s just the way it is?“ (Have you maybe even said that phrase…?)

That stance comes from a victim mindset instead of a creator mindset.

Here’s the difference: when you’re in a Victim mindset life is happening TO you and when you’re in a Creator mindset life is happening BY you.

Creators take 100% responsibility for their life, for their intentional and unintentional impact, and look for ways to create the changes they want to make.

When you lean into “that’s just the way it is,” you end up giving away your responsibility (which is really another word for power!) You commit to staying in the same position even if you’re dissatisfied or suffering if you settle into Victim mode. It feels like outer forces dictate your fate. Pointing the finger outward means you get to relinquish responsibility and ignore the choices you’ve made to end up dissatisfied.

Creators respond to “that’s just the way it is” by saying “Not anymore. That doesn’t work for me and I’m going to create a change that serves me.”

You always have a choice. You always have power. It is a life-changing mindset shift when you commit to being the Creator that presides over your whole life.

Accountability and responsibility give you power. When you hold onto the reins of the wild ride called life, you can lead it in the direction that YOU want to go.

Are you Going Against Your Gut Feeling?

Self-betrayal leads to a lot of suffering. It also leads to burnout and a slew of other issues.

Are you over-committing? Are you ignoring your desire to say no?

If you find that your energy is drained and you end up resisting doing the things you’ve said yes to, you’re probably struggling to keep your agreements.

These integrity breaches can lead to suffering both within yourself and other people. And you tell yourself that you are “flaky”, “lazy”, “inconsiderate” and a whole host of other shameful and judgmental criticisms.

The inverse is also true. If you find yourself denying your true wants and needs, that also leads to unhappiness, internal struggle, and dissatisfaction.

Down the suffering rabbit hole, you tumble…

There to break your fall is one of the most valuable conscious leadership concepts- the Whole Body Yes!

Saying yes only when you have a Whole Body Yes will free up a lot of your energy and a lot of your life.

Slow down and listen to your body — feel your feelings, your sensations, and your internal wisdom. It will steer you in the right direction.

A Whole Body Yes is when your entire being says yes to doing the thing.

Your head says yes:

There is logic to it

It makes sense

You can see the good reasons behind it

There is a rationale for why it’s important

Your heart says yes.

Your emotions say yes

Your love says yes

There is no lingering “I don’t want to”

Your gut says yes.

Your instincts say yes

Your yes feels really grounded

You will feel this all through your body — drop into yourself and feel what your instincts are telling you

Having a whole body yes doesn’t mean you won’t have fear or sadness, but by following your whole body yes, you are freeing up your energy and allowing life to flow through you.

You will find it much easier to keep agreements and stay in integrity when you are only saying yes to things you are really committed to.

Saying yes too much when you aren’t committing is a big reason why suffering and burnout happen. A lack of yes could simply mean there are aspects of the agreement to renegotiate, brainstorm about, and adjust. Let that Whole Body Yes guide you in your commitments.

Exploring Your Zone of Genius

When you live in the Zones outside of your Genius, it takes energy to perform and is life-draining. Success is not easy or fun and it leads to burnout.

Conscious leaders spend 70% of their time in their Zone of Genius. The goal is to live primarily in your Zone of Genius. Why?

Because it not only feels INCREDIBLE, but you naturally succeed where you shine.

You can commit to living and advocating for your Genius in a variety of ways.

So what the *%&* is it?

Here’s the amazing thing: everyone has one. Your Zone of Genius is one of four Zones of Being.

You may be thinking you don’t have a Zone of Genius or that you’re not a “genius” at anything.

That’s simply not true. You absolutely have a Zone of Genius to claim.

You may have decided it wasn’t valuable a long time ago or were even teased or punished for having this Zone of Genius.

Determining your Zone of Genius involves self-awareness and reflection.

But when you figure it out? Yeah, baby! That’s where the fun begins.

The Zone of Genius is a place of flow, creativity, energy, and fulfillment. You lose your sense of time when you are doing activities in your genius. You love it that much!

You would pay money to be able to do this all the time. Your success comes naturally when you do activities from your zone of genius. It feels effortless for you to do this.

These activities give you energy, restore you, and fulfill you. You feel very present and are intrinsically motivated.

The goal is awareness and then commitment.

Once you’re aware of what your Zone of Genius is, the next step is a commitment to moving your life in that direction. By living in your Zone of Genius you can create a life that feels both successful and full of ease.

You don’t need to suffer to succeed. Step into the empowerment of Creator Mode, tune into your Whole Body Yes, and discover your Zone of Genius then watch just how easy success can be.

Photography by Kelley Raye //

Dr. Caneel Joyce is a CEO Coach and social scientist who helps people break out of the invisible traps and make whole-life changes easily and naturally.

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