Leadership and personal growth junkies like you and me, the ones who actually love to read the books and do the workshops, still might notice that even if we read all the books, we understand all the things, we enact all the models, we do all the practices at work, at the end of the day, it’s just really not moving the needle.
It can seem like a self-indulgent, fluffy waste of time that doesn’t make a big difference. And I think this is why a lot of people feel skeptical about this work and stop. One of the reasons that this happens is because we fail to allow ourselves to bring that leader home with us, into our personal lives, into our friendships, and into our relationships.
Are you unintentionally leaving your conscious leadership at your desk?
If you’re not creating it at home, you cannot create it at work.
Bring that leader home. You are allowed to be your very best when you are at home. You are allowed to make your personal life your personal playground and experiment lab for you as a leader.
Conscious Leadership Hack- Check In’s
One of the practices in conscious leadership that lends itself easily to all aspects of your life is the “check-in.”
The check-in is a practice to apply when you first arrive at a new conversation or meeting together that allows you to show up as dynamic human beings. You use a couple of minutes at the front end of the interaction or meeting to get an understanding of how that person is arriving into the meeting and what their internal state is like at that moment.
It’s something that’s done without any need to explain the reason why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling and it’s definitely not a place where anyone needs to solve any problems for anyone. In fact, one of the keys to having an effective check-in is allowing each person to have their own unique personal experience. That doesn’t need to mean anything, but it’s information that’s useful.
Check-ins are powerful because they require everyone in the room to be present because you are expressing your current state at the moment.
The 3 parts of a check-in
- What is your body feeling like? Name a body part and the sensation you are feeling in that moment- like squeezing, tingling, heat, swirling.
- What is the basic core emotion you’re feeling- joy, anger, sadness, fear, or desire?
- What’s the next thought that pops into your mind? It might be something extremely simple and mundane like noticing your phone is making a light reflection on the ceiling or it could be about your favorite movie or coming lunch meeting.
A check-in helps everyone land in the present moment.
Conscious Leadership Commitments at Home
For example, one commitment could be an agreement to stop blaming. In a no-blame zone, rather than blaming, you’re going to take responsibility for what’s happening around you and have the conversation from that place rather than pointing fingers. That is a powerful commitment to make with those you care about.
Another commitment would be to let each other feel our feelings. No squashing or policing anyone else’s feelings, even our own.
Conscious leadership is not something that happens only in one location and only when we have one hat on. It’s not just when you’re wearing your entrepreneur hat, your VP hat. Conscious leadership isn’t limited to the office, it’s something that you can really bring into your entire life. And in fact, when you are truly committed, that’s exactly what you’ll do.
You can begin this type of self-awareness work at any age. These concepts are not just for adults! Diana started coaching her son with Conscious Leadership concepts like the drama triangle at age 4, and I’ve done the same with my own kids. Starting at home is a great way to exercise these conscious leadership frameworks and keep these tools fresh and active in your life.
Allow yourself to wake up to some patterns that may be holding you back that you didn’t even know or they’re going to learn how to be a more effective communicator, how to gain more influence, and how to really connect with people in an authentic way that is drama free. Ultimately, it’s about being the creator of your own life.
This article is related to an interview with Diana Chapman – Listen here.