I'm a social scientist who helps people break out of the invisible traps and make whole-life changes easily and naturally.
Years ago, around 2am, Roy and I were wrestling with a combination of creative passion and total frustration.
Drenched in sweat, and surrounded by the smell of an old wet dog that was not even ours, we had moved the couch 18 (count them 18!!!) times.
I was on Etsy, furiously searching for a new coffee table. The wallpaper was 5 minutes from getting ripped off so we could get our stinky, hand-me-down-from-a-friends-moms-garage, 90s contemporary red wool dog-ruined rug to work in our apartment.
Scratch that, we were working excruciatingly hard to make our living room suit our “new” rug. And going crazy in the process.
It took one friend’s simple sentence to set us free.
“Just get rid of the rug. ”
You can change ANYTHING in your life that is causing friction.
Here’s the thing:
Change is GOOD…. and it’s also HARD. ALL human beings seek security, safety, and stability. All animals naturally try to keep things the same. Of course – there’s a lot of fear surrounding starting over.
If you’ve been questioning whether you should start over, chances are it’s been time for you to start over for a while now. Let’s empower you to take the leap and take back control over your life.
The Benefits of Starting Over
When you shift into a creator mindset and take 100% responsibility for your life, you give yourself an incredible amount of POWER.
You don’t have to feel burnt out. You don’t have to stay on the hamster wheel when you’re sick of running. You don’t have to accept “things are the way they are.” You don’t have to keep repeating unfulfilling patterns.
Life doesn’t have to be hard. Success doesn’t have to be hard. Removing friction and obstacles that are keeping you stuck in unfulfilling cycles is necessary for your GROWTH.
Ever try to build on a broken foundation? The whole house of cards comes crashing down.
Picture a piece of paper with scribbles and drawings all over it. Trying to squeeze your own creativity and wants onto that page is a major challenge. Maybe you can find a corner to settle into, but there’s very little wiggle room. It can be stifling.
Now imagine a blank piece of paper. Limitless opportunities. You have total creative freedom.
Embrace the opportunity of starting over and give yourself the opportunity to create. Make room for all your Genius, your whole self.
Use the Opportunity of Starting Over to Reorganize Your Life
Shout out to Marie Kondo, the organizer extraordinaire! Her book and TV show may have opened your eyes to the amount of clutter we can end up living with. When Marie showed me the light, I spent a week OBSESSED with minimalism and paring down my possessions.
And (lightbulb moment!!!) I realized I needed to bring this same energy to other aspects of my life.
Scaling back and reorganizing your life in a way to best suit your needs and genius is an incredible tool for both professional and personal growth.
Challenges force you to take stock of what really matters to you. THAT insight is the ultimate gift. When you have a growth mindset around challenges you view them as opportunities to reevaluate, streamline, and renegotiate.
Clear out the clutter. Remove unnecessary obstacles so you can reveal what’s underneath. If you can actually see the paths and opportunities in front of you, then you can make conscious decisions that benefit YOU.
How to Rebuild After You Quit
Alright, so your trash bags are full and now you can see the foundation of your life before you. You’ve determined what your priorities are. You have a clear vision for your life. You are no longer willing to accept a backseat in your life.
It’s time to rebuild. But how?
Three magic words:
Create clear agreements!
Clear agreements are your way of keeping your foundation solid. And the key to clear agreements is integrity. Integrity means you do what you say you will do. The way to ensure you remain in integrity is to use Whole Body Yes as your guide.
It’s easy to keep your commitments and follow through with both yourself and others when you only agree to things you have a WHOLE Body Yes to. Aligning your head, heart, and gut before you make a decision is integral to living and leading with integrity.
And the beauty of agreements? They can be RENEGOIATED.
How Fear of the Unknown May Be Holding You Back
As you learn about the power of the blank slate you may be experiencing anxiety. There’s excitement about the possibility of starting over and building your dream life, but a nagging fear is creeping up in the back of your mind.
There is very rational animal fear surrounding starting over. Humans struggle with change. We like homeostasis. But when the same routine and setup aren’t working for you anymore, you don’t have the opportunity to reach your full potential.
The benefits of starting over are greater than the comfort of staying stuck. Because is it really comfortable to be dissatisfied? Is it comfortable to suffer through burnout?
Change isn’t easy, but it creates a life that is more full of ease. You don’t have to go through life pushing through a bunch of obstacles.
Remove those barriers, create a strong foundation, and allow yourself to be fully ALIVE.
Change is possible, and it can start right now if you want it to.
About this episode:
Are you struggling with burnout? Are you feeling like life is happening to you?
Have you been googling – how to know if it’s time to quit? Questioning whether or not to move on? Feeling a call to start over?
If you see yourself repeating the same unfulfilling patterns and living a life of constant fire drills draining you of your creative energy… this is your sign. It’s your sign it’s time for you to experience the revolutionary freedom of a fresh start and a completely blank page.
In this season premiere, you determine if it’s time to reassess areas of your life. And, most importantly, you learn how to begin rebuilding and designing your life in a way to best serve you.
This coaching session inspires you to utilize new beginnings as an opportunity to release what has been holding you back. You can design your life consciously and foster creativity in all areas of your life, by learning when to quit and how to start over.
In this inaugural episode of Allowed’s second season, learn how to determine when to quit, and how to start over in any area of your life. Throughout this coaching session, discover how to create a strong foundation for both your professional and personal life, by overcoming the fears you have around blank slates. The value of a growth mindset is accepting starting over as the opportunity you need.
You are allowed to let go of what no longer serves you. This coaching session teaches you how to end the burnout cycle and free up your energy. You can declutter your obligations, and organize your business and life in a way that encourages your personal growth. This episode empowers you to lead a life customized by and for YOU. When you gain the ability to break free from the thought patterns keeping you trapped and stifled, you will move towards a healthy and empowered personal growth mindset that embraces the unbelievable power of change.
Allowed Insider’s bonus:
When you join Allowed Insider you receive a bonus exercise in your inbox diving further into practicing and understanding the concept of the episode. Join here!
This week grab a pen and paper because this episode’s bonus is a guided “Bug List.” Reject toxic positivity and acknowledge aspects of your career, relationships, home, and more to determine sources of friction in your life. Then, use your personal bug list as a guide for prioritization, upgrade, and simplification opportunities.
Getting Back into Integrity with Clear Agreements
“The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing” by Marie Kondo