Is where you are now in your life not where you want to be?
Do you feel the pull to make a change gnawing away at you?
But it feels like you’ve tried everything and you need something MORE?
An extra push, a deeper dive…
If you’re like me, you’re a self-starter and you have probably been working at this change for a long time on your own by reading books, Googling, watching videos, brainstorming in your notebook, listening to podcasts… I have done all of them.
I have signed up for seminars, I’ve gone to retreats, and I’ve completed all sorts of training.
But the number one thing that has helped me was also the HARDEST to sign up for.
To take the leap and begin to work with an executive coach, leadership coach, or career coach in real life is a really big decision to make.
Coaching is a huge investment in yourself.
The investment is not just your money, it’s your time, attention, and energy.
Just know…You are WORTH it!
You are worth it, but it’s a very tricky kind of consumer problem when you’re getting started, which can be discouraging. If you’re considering a coach you’re probably wondering how you enter this big industry and get the type of support you want.
Here are some facts and advice to get you started on this type of personal development!
Do you need a coach?
If you’re asking this question, you probably already know the answer.
At least a part of you does. A part of you is saying, “I really want a coach.” And then there’s probably another part of you who’s saying, “I’m scared.” Now that scared word may not resonate because the feelings you’re having may feel more like skepticism, intelligent hesitation, or it might feel like shame. Perhaps you don’t want to be someone who’s seen as needing a coach.
Okay, so first, let’s drop the idea that coaching is a remedial kind of investment. Coaching is not a wise investment to make if you don’t want it.
So if you actually don’t want to coach but somebody has told you that you need a coach, open your mind to that feedback, but if you don’t want to be coached, please do not move forward.
You’re not ready, you’re not willing, but there is probably some other model out there that can give you what you want. So please listen to your own heart on that one.
There’s no such thing as needing a coach.
What??? Yep. I also want to drop that idea. Nobody needs a coach. Nobody needs a coach.
Some of the best CEOs in the world don’t have coaches. A lot of data indicates that most of them do. But some of them don’t. So you don’t need a coach.
The question to consider when it comes to coaching is- do you have a desire to change?
Maybe there’s a big challenge in your life that you’re facing and you don’t know how to overcome it. You’ve tried everything you know how to do but recognize you need more or something different. You want an external force to challenge and support you.
The combination of wanting to be challenged and supported indicates that coaching might be a good path for you to go down.
Can a coach help you?
The real question you’re asking yourself deep down is ‘am I willing to change?’
If you’re not willing to change, that means coaching is probably not a wise idea.
If you are willing to change and commit to a process of personal growth then coaching is a good choice for you.
Raising self-awareness is the primary function of a coach.
Coaches have tools, technologies, and techniques and a way of being that helps you to increase your awareness of how you’re showing up and how it’s creating the results that you’re getting or that you’re not getting.
And we do this in a number of different ways. You can experience a 360 degree review process, where you receive feedback from a variety of people in your life so that you can understand how you are being perceived. And when you can understand, “Oh, this is how I’m coming across,” or, “These are my blind spots. I had no idea that this was my pattern,” or, “I was really thinking that maybe I was hiding that pattern pretty well and you actually, you guys can see it perfectly clearly.”
Another way coaches like myself can boost your awareness is through a variety of tools like the ones I offer you here on caneel.com. Worksheets, exercises, workshops, seminars, and downloadables can offer a lot in terms of your growth if you commit to the process and are open and honest without shame or self-judgment.
Coaches are able to hold up that mirror for you and create enough safety that you’re willing to look in it. When you’re in a safe and supportive environment with a coach you will be willing to not only truly see what you see, but to sit with it and feel your feelings about what you see.
Coaches can guide you through a transformation in your level of consciousness.
This transformation brings you from a state of Victimhood and Drama, where you feel powerlessness, blame, guilt, and shame to a state of empowered clarity. With empowered clarity, you can follow through on commitments with integrity, and take on the Creator role in your own life.
When you are leading consciously, you recognize that you are the Creator of your own life and your own circumstances. And that doesn’t feel scary! You are fully enthralled with accepting that responsibility because that means you have POWER!
The first step of this journey to empowerment is waking up to the possibility that there is a different way of looking at your experience. That itself is a transformation.
Once you have that experience, and start to break free of a drama-bound mindset, you can start to visualize all the incredible growth and change available to you because you can recognize your own power.
Differences Between Coaching and Therapy
I’m often asked, do I need a coach or do I need a therapist?
My answer usually is, if you think you might need both, you probably should get both. The two go together well. I have almost always had both in my life for myself, a coach and a therapist.
The distinction between the two is sometimes unclear, and so I want to speak to that real quick.
Typically, a therapist is somebody who helps you to understand who you are now and maybe what you want now based on understanding what has happened in the past. In general, therapists help you work with your own psychology and with a lot of rich understanding of how that psychology got formed.
A coach, in contrast to a therapist, works from the here and now.
There is a lot less emphasis on the past and a lot more emphasis on the future with coaching.
Coaches help you get clear on what big mountain you want to climb. This is where you develop your vision. You can get discouraged at this point because when you’re thinking about the mountain you focus on all the barriers and obstacles that will make it difficult.
A great coach is going to be skilled at reminding you to bring your eyes up and to focus on that mountain ahead.